How to Work With Me

Efficient communication is one of my core values. This is a personal guide to how I approach collaboration and leadership: what I value, where I can be challenging, and what I try to offer the people I work with. It isn't a set of rules for a particular company.

1. My Core Philosophy: Bias for Action (a.k.a. Ask Forgiveness)

I am a firm believer in Grace Hopper's famous motto: "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission."

I value autonomy and initiative. When someone owns a problem, I want them to have the room to solve it. For a sensible, reversible decision within their responsibilities, my default answer is "go and do it!"

Keep me informed so I can support you, but don't turn every small decision into a permission request. That is not a shortcut around agreed approvals, security requirements, or commitments that affect other people.

The questions I find useful are:

1. "Is this within my responsibilities and the boundaries we've agreed?"
2. "Could this put people, customer data, or a critical service at risk?"
3. "If it doesn't work, can I reverse it without significant harm?"

If it's in bounds, low-risk, and reversible, go for it. If not, get the right people involved first. When a good-faith experiment goes wrong, I want to understand what happened and improve the conditions around it. A mistake is an opportunity for learning, not for blame.

2. My Communication Style: Direct, with Good Intent

I am Dutch, and I am very direct. I don't like "elephants in the room" and prefer to address issues head-on. Clear communication saves everyone time and uncertainty.

This means:

• I will be transparent with you. I will not hide my thoughts or make you guess what I'm thinking.
• You will always know where you stand. You never have to read between the lines. If I have feedback about your work, I will tell you.
• "No news is good news." If I'm not bringing anything up, you can assume all is well.

I know this style can be intense for some. Please know that my intentions are always good. I am critiquing the idea or the problem, never the person.

3. I Have Strong Opinions, Weakly Held

You will find that I have strong opinions on many subjects. This is a starting point for a discussion, not the end of it.

I want people to push back. Having a leadership role doesn't make my idea the best one. I am always open to better ideas, but you may need to debate me to get there. Please, challenge my assumptions.

4. Feedback is a Gift (Please Give It)

Giving Feedback to Me: I am a big guy, and I'm aware that I can "fill a room" with my presence and my voice. I've worked on this over the years, but I am not perfect. My goal is to make sure everyone feels included in conversations. If I am talking too much or steamrolling a discussion, please call me out. You can do this in the meeting or send me a quiet message after. This is the feedback I value most.

Receiving Feedback from Me: When I give you feedback, I will be direct (see point #2). Because I believe feedback is a gift, I will listen carefully to what you have to say. That said, part of receiving a "gift" is that you can choose what to do with it. You can choose to act on it or not.

The exception: If there is a serious performance or behavioral issue, I will make it clear that this is something you must act on. But again, because I'm direct, you will not have to guess.

5. Your 1:1s are Your Time (My Prio-0)

My approach to a manager's 1:1 is simple: it should belong to the person being supported, not become another reporting meeting.

• I do not want a status update. I can get that elsewhere.
• I want you to drive the agenda. This is your forum to talk about your challenges, your career, your frustrations, or anything else you need help with. I am here to listen and to help.
• A scheduled meeting shouldn't be the limit of a manager's availability. I try to make additional time when someone needs support.
• The people who report to me are my Prio-0. My job is to support you.

6. Communication Preferences & Pet Peeves

• Match the medium to the message: A quick conversation is great for a quick question. For an idea that needs discussion, I prefer a short written explanation that people can read and think about. It doesn't need to be polished. Clarity matters much more than elaborate formatting.
• My main pet peeve: Unclear communication. Don't assume I (or anyone else) know what you're talking about. Be precise. This is one area where I find engineers are often great.

7. On Rest, Trust, and Flexibility

I believe people do better work when they can rest properly and have reasonable flexibility in their lives. Taking time off shouldn't be treated as a lack of commitment.

As a leader, I want to focus on clear expectations, good coordination, and sustainable work rather than measuring dedication by hours at a desk. The practical arrangements depend on the organization, the role, and the team's responsibilities; these are leadership values, not a promise about a particular employer's policies.